quasi in rem

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

Dixville Notch, The People's Choice Awards of Primary Contests

The people of the unfortunately named Dixville Notch have spoken! Dixville Notch is in far north New Hampshire, a short smuggled pack of cigarrettes throw from the Canadian border, so as you read on, please do so with a slight French Candian accent. The united voices of Dixville Notch have cried out to the heavens as first primary in the nation and may have shouted the name of the next Democratic Nominee for President! Their choice?

Wesley Clark?!

By a vote of 8 for Clark, to 3 for Kerry, 2 for Edwards, and 1 each for Kucinich and Dean. George Bush recieved all 11 votes. Shortly after the vote was cast, who do you should suppose should walk out of the vote counting room? Why Wesley Clark himself. How embarassing would that have been had he recieved no votes.
how did he know to be there? Could he have been clued in on the vote tally prior to the voting? Or more likely, I believe the residents of Dixville Notch have succumbed to the quiet politeness of their brethren to the north. When informed that Wesly Clark was in the building, I am guessing that most of the votes were cast out of sympathy for the good General. It would have been gauche, out of place, so very American, to have let him fall on his face in view of the dozens of media outlets covering the event.

I wonder however, if there were other candidates in that backroom who did not come? Dennis Kucinich couldn't have anything better do. He was probably there.
Huddled in the back room, hoping above hope that his name would be called. Heck maybe there all back there. Playing Jenga maybe. I bet when they started annoncing the names John Kerry started walking to the door. Not so fast Mr. Senator.

It wouldn't be John Kerry's only loss of the night. Harts Location, in central New Hampshire, with a couple of dozen voters also reported thier results early. George Bush got 13 Votes, And the Democratic winner? Wesley Clark?! Again. And he wasn't even there! This time the vote was much closer with 6 for Wesley Clark and 5 for John Kerry. Maybe this is a trend. I can say that my prediction that Clark would get less than 10% of the vote can only bode well for his campaign.

By the way what do you suppose is the mascot of the Dixville Notch High School Team? The Resevoir Tips? The Circumcisers? The Moyles? The Shafts?


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