quasi in rem

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Kerry claims "Canadian girl" he met at summer camp among foreign leaders who support him

Presidential candidate John Kerry today revealed, at least partially, one of the many foreign leaders whom he claims wants him to defeat George Bush this fall.

"You wouldn't know her," Kerry said in a campaign stop in washington D.C.," But it was a girl I met a Lake Gicheegummee summer camp, and she lives in Canada, and she definetely exists, and she was hot, and really into me."

Kerry refused to name the girl or give her exact location in Canada or her position in Canadian government, but stressed that she was not imaginary.

"Oh she exists alright, "Kerry added," we talked about Rush and hockey and how wicked cool I am. And she totally let me touch her bra." Kerry further insisted that she was not the only foreign leader who supported his candidacy, but doubted that anyone in the mainstreammedia would know their names, even if he mentioned them. "These are leaders who are in totally different circles than you operate," he told one member of the Press," these are not A/V club girls, but cheerleader types. You wouldn't know them."

When asked what it felt like to recieve the support of a foreign leader, Kerry responded, "It's like a warm apple pie."

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