CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES #93
THE CAPITOL HILL EDITION

Ah, life on the Hill. It's a chore really. Surrounded by the vulgarities of the political process splayed out plainly to see like an intern's half digested dinner laid out on the sidewalk after one too many Happy Hour Pitchers at Red River Grill. But I survive. Mostly by attending tax payer funded parties, parades and celebrations and generally sucking at the Congressional teat. It's nice in a way. Not a particularly proud way to exist, mind you. But nice.

But on to the Carnival. And its a doozy this week. There are some gems in here so check em all out.

Freshman Class Division

Our newbie division is in honor of the newest and loveliest of all Congress-people ...Stephanie Herseth The lovely Ms. Herseth is from South Dakota, she's a libra, and her first task in Congress appears to be getting some. At least she isn't screwing the voters of South Dakota.

Our first entry is so nice and lovely it barely belongs on this blog. Jeff Doolittle dot com reports that Jack William Doolittle has made his way into this world. Because he is not a taxpayer, we care little for Jack up here on the Hill. Unless of course he has already hired a lobbyist to look into diaper related legislation. Then we will listen.

Next we have wonderful little service for all freshmen bloggers provided by Showcase: Everything and Anything.
If you have a new blog and want publicity, the New Blog Showcase Blog (which may use the word Blog one too many times) is the place to go. The author and host of the Showcase at Simon's World, also defends the art of blogging and insists that the New Blog Showcase is not a contest. Well the Carnival is a contest, and Simon, your post loses to the new baby!

Lobbyist Division

Lobbying, much like blogging, is an art really. How does on convince as many people as possible to buy the load of crap you are selling, and how does one do that while making a nice little profit on the side? Solonor's Ink Well: Diary of a Yard Sale has a real life description of this process using the metaphor of a yard sale. (Actually his is the real deal but it really is the same thing.)

Sometimes however, lobbying is for a good cause, believe it or not and a good example of this is at Parableman in a post titled Race and the Death Penalty This is a well reasoning, lengthy and in depth discussion of a very important topic. In that respect it is not like lobbying at all. But the post does give some excellent advice to both conservatives and liberals on the subject. Playing both sides of the aisle. That is the true lobbyist spirit.

And now onto the environmental lobby. Those bastions of integrity and searchers for the common good. This week GREENIE WATCH (not to be confused with the nonblog Heinz Foundation funded BushGreenwatch - which tracks environmental misdeeds)has a look at the false oil scare and what the practical implications of declining oil reserves really are.

In other environmental news, I present the most "must read" entry on this weeks Carnival. Last One Speaks comments on the expenses of Meth Lab clean-ups. Here is an excerpt: "I have to confess that in 1970 I snorted up a whole lot of crystal meth myself. We used to get it from some kid at MIT that brewed it up in the school labs or maybe his dorm room. So I'm thinking if they've been cooking this stuff up for at least the last 34 years -- why haven't we heard about all this toxic waste until recently?" Does that want to make you read more? Me too.

In his latest effort, Micheal Moore has shifted from his role as documentarian to lobbyist. Why do I say this? Well, I don't really have anywhere else to put this post and Moore is the size of your average hotel lobby. Quando does some moore investigation into Moore in his post entitled Celsius 250: The Temperature at which Fat Burns

Senate Division

As most of you know Dick Cheney paid us a little visit here on the Hill last week, to press the flesh, assert his role as President of the Senate, get his picture taken and get support for some of the President's plans. Lets just say he did not achieve all of those goals. Watcher of Weasels describes his efforts with the to-the-point entitled post: Cheney Drops the F-Bomb on Leahy. In light of this, and his health, high negatives, (but forgetting the fact he is actually running the country Patriot Paradox asks the question Should Cheney Be Replaced? His answer, or nonanswer I should say, is truly Senatorial in nature. Good job.

In other news involving the President of the Senate,the Gleeful Extremist has an excellent post entitled "Your bid" describing a poker game between Dick Cheney and Saddam Hussein. Interesting note, Saddam has apparently been spending most of his time in captivity playing online poker ala Chris Moneymaker and plans on going to Binions for next year's world series event. Unless of course, other priorities arise.

This blogs favorite two Senators are Hillary Clinton and John Kerry. I like them so much I hope they stay in the Senate as long as possible (or at least until 2008). But they might be teaming up for a run at the White House. Good luck. Especially when bloggers like the The Big Picture are out there noting that Hillary wants your stuff. And she wants it now.

House of Representatives Division

Just about everything the House does these days is a complete joke. In that vein, Madeleine Begun Kane, has run a contest to solicit names for the new Food Stamps Program. Actually the results are very funny and, knowing this administration, I would not be entirely surprised to see one of them used as long it can be translated to a cool acronym.

Justice Department Division

Yes Virginia, there still is a Justice Department. And shockingly enough, a Civil Rights division. In the spirit of Civil Rights, CognoCentric examines a CNN article about supposed backlash after 9/11 continuing following the Berg and Johnson beheadings. Once again, an excellent piece. Absolutely way above this blog's usual readership's caliber.

In other Justice News, Political Correctness Watch has a well written post looking at immigration policy. This is the money quote but please read the whole thing: "But however pernicious in themselves, sanctuary rules are a symptom of a much broader disease: the nation’s near-total loss of control over immigration policy. Fifty years ago, immigration policy might have driven immigration numbers, but today the numbers drive policy"

State Department Division

In a must read post for anyone who plans on conducting high level negotiations with China, WICKED THOUGHTS has a post on how to learn important Chinese phrases in one easy lesson. I can't help but think that President Bush learned French in this same manner.

Meanwhile, on the Israeli front, Solomonia has a very interesting photoblog of Boston for Israel Rally - Jerusalem Bus #19. This is a four part post available here, and here and here too. Everyone looks really happy in the pictures. I can't help but think that the Democratic Convention would benefit from inviting everyone of these people to participate. But they won't.

And because this weeks Carnival is a competition I hereby declare the winner. This weeks best post focuses on the upcoming Olympics and the Palestinian team: Israellycool: Olympics - PLO Arab Style. You get all your funding this year, Isreallycool. Everyone else get back in line.

And just in case anyone thought the the blogosphere had moved on from Iraq, You Big Mouth, You! has an excellent dissection comparing reconstruction efforts in Iraq and post-WWII Germany. It looks like a lot of work. (Both the post and the reconstruction.) Fortunately, the State Department has moved into a much more important role over there, and good news too, because the State Department has never screwed anything up.

Education Department Division

Haven't we gotten rid of this agency yet? Well if we have not, The People's Republic of Seabrook demonstrates how all education administrators probably need to go back to school in a post entitled "This is what happens when you teach kids to think, Chapter 2."

Meanwhile, the problem may not be entirely due to the schools Interested-Participant notes that"During this week's conference of Catholic educators at John Carroll University, John Ropar, Director of Counseling, stated that the current generation of college students are unable to cope with simple problems as a result of overprotective parenting." And there's more!

Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

Is there a vast Right Wing conspiracy? Yes. Can you join? Absolutely! What do they do? Well mostly we meet one Thursday a month at Tony Cheng's Chinese Restaurant in Chinatown here in Washington D.C. to plan the overthrow of all world governments eat egg rolls. Mmmmm world domination egg rolls.

But if you really want to know about us and what it is all about head on over to Dissecting Leftism where they have a post on STRAUSS AND THE STRAUSSIANs. (capitalized for full and frightening effect).

Meanwhile over at Sneakeasy's Joint, they are Making a Difference for the cause one directory assistance call at a time.

And in a election year, we should not forget our p's and q's, even those of us in the conspiracy. At least that's what Hitler always said. Do you know who reminds me nothing of Hitler? The SmarterCop. Who has a Hitleriffic post on the Hitleresque use of Hitlerish images. He hitler this one right out of the park. Hitler.

Life on the Hill Division

Life on the Hill can be great, and it is often worth a visit, mostly if you just want to come see all your money. Speaking of people who wanted to visit their money, King of Fools has Breaking News about a family who came here and was sorely dissappointed.

And finally, as an attorney, who earns his living soaking good Samaritan for all the help they provide without request, I hope you don't read this post on RoguePundit entitled "Harming Those Who Help" Ahhh, just kidding. It is a well reasoned post that will flyover the heads of most greedy lawyers like myself so what's the harm?

That's all folks! Hoped you enjoyed the Carnival at the Capitol! I would just like to add one note. This weeks carnival was entirely powered by Google technology. I used Gmail, a google mail service, Blogger, the google blog service, the little pop-up Blog This on the Google toolbar, and Google itself for searches. I don't know what this means for the Google IPO, Blogging or the world in general but overall I would give the entire process very high marks for ease and usability. However, I would just note that these words were not recognized on Blogger's own spell checker: Google, blog, blogger, blogging and blogs. I might get someone to look at that.

Upcoming Carnival stops include:
June 23rd A Single Guy In The South
June 30th quasi in rem
July 7th democrats give conservatives indigestion
July 14th d-42.com
July 21st Soundfury
July 28th - Jeff Doolittle
August 4th - Seldom Sober
August 11th - The Smallest Minority
August 18th - Fringe
August 25th - Ego
September 1st - Blogo Slovo
September 8th - Food Basics
September 15th Silflay Hraka - The Two Year Anniversary
September 22nd - The Eleven Day Empire